When I was young, I went for adventures in the woods behind my house. It was fantastic, and to this day I'm still shocked that I made it back to the house before dark most days. It started with my brother and I finding a suitable spot to make something of a fort. It was across a brook, which is really small but when you are six seems incredibly wide and deep. So we decided to needed a way to cross this without getting our legs soaked - we built a bridge out of a couple smaller trees we felled.
The fort didn't take root due to lack of work, but it still left me with a desire to go out into the forest. So I did, and continued to do so for years. While out there by myself and with my brother/dad, I learned how to survive in rough conditions. But most importantly, I drank from water sources most city-dwelling individuals would die from consuming. I believe my drinking from brooks, streams, and rivers granted me a stronger immune system - at the very least, I've had less bacterial infections than many people I know.
That, however, did not prepare me for the absolute horror that the common cold brings upon me. Like a Mack truck smacking into a Ford Fiesta head-on (apply directly to the forehead) at 95 MPH, the common cold totals me - yes, an insurance company flat-out tells my friends and family to just order a new one; it's that bad. You think having the sniffles and a cough is bad? Well, gentle reader, man the fuck up and ship off to Boston - you can't top the aches, the clogged sinuses, the faucet nose, the headaches, the bronchial congestion that gets worse when one goes horizontal. And this isn't simply for a day or two, no - it's for 4-5 days, sometimes a week. If I have it really bad, two weeks of hell.
For a simple, common virus, it's Godzilla. I am Tokyo. Everyone around me is The Blue Oyster Cult. Yes, there are Japanese people in train cars inside of me being thrown across my sinuses. The ultimate irony? I think this may be nature's way of giving me the finger for never contracting the flu. I couldn't catch the flu if I rubbed a flu-infected individual's feces on my face and took a swim in their vomit. I'm fairly certain I am an antibody in and of myself.
Don't want the flu, baby? Fuck the shot; have a tall glass of me.
5/4/11
Post Titles Are Pointless.
Hello, everyone, and welcome to Disobedient Swede, a cute little blog from the right side of the tracks that'll treat you right and take you home to its mama like a good bundle of text should - but not before it takes you out back behind the dumpsters, has its way with you, and leaves you shaking and holding a crumpled hundred-dollar bill. That's just business to Disobedient Swede, and business is good.*
I am here to entertain, exacerbate, enrage, enrich, opine, hypothesize, and muse on anything that comes to my mind. I plan on exploring the depths of human behavior, politics, psychology, sociology, why I am terrible at mathematics, good books, bad books, education, and much more. If I have a well thought-out post about how our education system is failing our children one day and then follow it up with a post that is, essentially, me drooling on my keyboard, then consider it par for the course.
Disregard everything I've just told you: I'm not here for you, I'm here for my own ego.
(* - bonus points if you read this in Morgan Freeman's voice. Extra bonus points if you read it in Gordon Freeman's voice.)
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